Tuesday, July 24, 2007

DAMN, It Feels Good to be a Gangsta!

Who am I talking about? Killah. The Killah herself.

Let me explain. Last week was a tough week to be rollin’ in the yard. It was knee deep in thugs, ya know what I am sayin’? And Killah was the biggest threat of all!

She has been on house arrest ever since we brought her home from the reform school, aka, the Humane Society. We had just removed her ankle monitoring device a few years back, since she showed remorse and kept a low profile around the crib. That was until last week.

See, I was maxin’ out, relaxin’ by the pond with all my homies: Big Tim, V-to-the-ELCRO, Madam Marie, Left Eye, Handsome Rob and Iz-Ira when I felt like Killah could handle the responsibility of chillin’ with us all.

The moment she stepped into the hood I should have know she was gunna be trouble. She came out the back door all guns a blazin’ with her bling hangin’ low and a gat in tow. Scanning the perimeter, she walked back and forth against the fence, casing the joint. Then she started talkin’ mad shit with some of the neighborhood birdies.

“Don’t you be lookin’ at me, bird brain! I said, DON’T YOU BE LOOKIN’ AT ME!”

Moments went by and then another outburst.

“DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME TWEETY. I AM COLD GUNNA COCK YER ASS, MOTHER-F-ER!”

And then it went down. BLAM BLAM BLAM. She pulled out her gat and straight up busted a bird. The whole neighborhood ran for cover, Big Tim, V-to-the-ELCRO (she didn’t need to have another thing added to her record) and Killah just watched, feathers still hanging from her mouth.

Not but 20 minutes went by before there was a death in the yard.

When the head hancho got home I made him bury it. Then we went out and erected a monument in honor of the dead birdie, even going as far as pouring some seed on the ground for the birdie that wasn’t around.

Needless to say, Killah is on house arrest again. Peace has been restored to the Hood.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Sew nice to see you today, Handsome Rob!

Good Day Bitches!

This week has been exceptional for me. I have the old spirit back and a pep in my step, and I think it was my birthday that inspired it. I know, birthdays aren’t supposed to inspire, but depress, and this year it didn’t!

It started with a dinner with me Ma and Pa, chicken wings of course. Ma slid a card over to me with a crisp hundo. Lucci baby! I knew right away what I was going to spend it on. Last summer I sewed a dress for k simon. Let me tell you, I have learned a lot from that experience, mainly to never sew for free. Sorry k simon, but I have grown quite a bit since then, and that free-bee was the last. I love you babe, but that endeavor was way beyond the call of friendship duty.

It was the hardest thing I have ever sewn. Over 30 pattern pieces, some of which need to be cut over 4 times. Two zippers, boning, two linings, horsehair braid, silk, topstitching… the list continues, but it was the most beautiful dress I have ever made, and k simon looked AMAZING in it.

So it was an easy decision to spend my cash monies on fabric to make that dress again, this time for myself. I wanted to give it a rock vibe, so I chose a striped silk and cut it at an angle to really rock it out. I still have the corset to do and the hemline, but so far…

Another birthday push to inspire was my new best friend, Connie’s, Bastille day party. It was a Sunday lunch to shame all other lunches previous to. All of my favorite things, and I am not talking about brown paper packages tied up with string, I am talking Pink Cremant de Alsace, antique crystal champagne glasses, gougeres, unpasturized French cheese, PATE-mother-f-ers, escargot, salad nicoise… the list just goes on!

Because of Connie, I am blogging today, as well as doing some serious cooking. Check out the shittiest plum tart:

It is wrong in so many ways. The crust is hard as a rock… I won’t even begin to list all of its faults.
But besides sewing and cooking I have been spending a lot of time in the garden, watching my presents from Frank-n-beanie. Aren’t they beautiful?
I also have been making beautiful arangements from flowers in my garden... check out this mornings... I love pink and red!
Alright bitches, go back to what you were doing, my blog time here is done!