Who am I talking about? Killah. The Killah herself.
Let me explain. Last week was a tough week to be rollin’ in the yard. It was knee deep in thugs, ya know what I am sayin’? And Killah was the biggest threat of all!
She has been on house arrest ever since we brought her home from the reform school, aka, the Humane Society. We had just removed her ankle monitoring device a few years back, since she showed remorse and kept a low profile around the crib. That was until last week.
See, I was maxin’ out, relaxin’ by the pond with all my homies: Big Tim, V-to-the-ELCRO, Madam Marie, Left Eye, Handsome Rob and Iz-Ira when I felt like Killah could handle the responsibility of chillin’ with us all.
The moment she stepped into the hood I should have know she was gunna be trouble. She came out the back door all guns a blazin’ with her bling hangin’ low and a gat in tow. Scanning the perimeter, she walked back and forth against the fence, casing the joint. Then she started talkin’ mad shit with some of the neighborhood birdies.
“Don’t you be lookin’ at me, bird brain! I said, DON’T YOU BE LOOKIN’ AT ME!”
Moments went by and then another outburst.
“DON’T YOU LOOK AT ME TWEETY. I AM COLD GUNNA COCK YER ASS, MOTHER-F-ER!”
And then it went down. BLAM BLAM BLAM. She pulled out her gat and straight up busted a bird. The whole neighborhood ran for cover, Big Tim, V-to-the-ELCRO (she didn’t need to have another thing added to her record) and Killah just watched, feathers still hanging from her mouth.
Not but 20 minutes went by before there was a death in the yard.
When the head hancho got home I made him bury it. Then we went out and erected a monument in honor of the dead birdie, even going as far as pouring some seed on the ground for the birdie that wasn’t around.
Needless to say, Killah is on house arrest again. Peace has been restored to the Hood.