Thursday, March 02, 2006

Trouble with a capital "L"

Leave no door open.
No beverage full & without a lid.
Keep all bells safely tucked away.
Hide your pin cushions.
Keep the toilet seat down.
Make sure all faucets are turned off.
Close the bathroom door before climbing into the shower.

Wait. Wait. Wait.

Hide your pin cushions?

Yup. I’m not fucking around here. She is trouble. Trouble with a capital “L”. LaFonda. Destructor of all things destroyable. A menace to all things that look like they could use a menacing. Villain to all that is good, holy, and just. LA-what-the-fuck-did-you-do-to-my-pin-cushion-FONDA. What did she do? Take a look.

Now, I habitually close my sewing studio door, but there is the rare occasion where I plum forget. This was one of those instances. Down right HONKEY TONK! That is what she is! A HONKEY TONK CAT! And she isn’t the only one. There is another member of her destructive gang. Timmy, also a HONKEY TONK CAT! Timmy’s methods are a bit more physical. He attacks the person. Climbs the limbs like a tree. Catapults onto your chest to kneed ferociously. (I could have had two puns there, but decided not to on behalf of my readers). Curls up in a sleepy ball, looking so peaceful, but when you come near- he’ll fucking rip your eyeballs out.


At night they roam the house, jonesin’ for trouble. “T” scratchin’ up the woodwork. “L” knocking down everything in her path on her race around the house. These two cats are so evil, that you can spot them from a mile away.

Take a look at “T”:

And can you spot HONKEY TONK “L”?

That is what I thought.
Do your research before adopting a cat.

Make sure they aren’t members of the HONKEY TONK GANG!


Katie said...

oh Lafawnduh!

Wacky Poo Blacky said...

I just laughed so hard I cried. That darn cat!!


Jimmy Drylids said...

Damn, how did you find and manage to take a picture of T's evil hideout? I knew Haystack Rock was goo-for-nothin'!

Jimmy Drylids said...

I ment gooD-for nothin'.